Hezekiel

Lost in translation is what i found myself in, sometimes you see things that makes you wonder and it would take forever to be understood.

I met a young engineer in August 2014 beginning, we would work together on a project at the Moses Kotane Hospital, He was the resident engineer at the Hospital and i was contracted to conduct a service there.

Naturally resident hospital engineers are known to be out of touch, less enthusiastic , less passionate about their work not Hez, He would warmly welcome me and a female colleague Rose and got dirty with us immediately.

It took us two days to complete what would have taken us four days to accomplish, we were the customer and he the client, he had no obligations to help and we didn’t ask for help.

His interaction with his colleagues in the wards we went in to revealed that he enjoyed helping and his job immensely,  he engaged with the Drs and Nurses about what we had come to do and on their other related projects with excitement.

Then curiosity would get the better of me i asked him about himself, he came out smart. knowledgeable , curious and hyper.

He would tell me that he is a village boy who got an opportunity through the late deputy minister of health Dr Molefi Sefularo to study clinical engineering in Cuba.

He went on to say how challenging it was to be away for three and a half years without seeing his family, he said he even lost a brother and could not come home to pay his last respect, he said this with pain in his eyes.

I then said “oh yes i know the departed Dr Molefi Sefularo who died in a car accident” he then said “ it was no accident it was assassination” i chose not to ask further.

He went on to say how he completed his B-Tech at TUT this after he asked me where do i get the knowledge of the work we we doing and i answered TUT, he said out of the twenty students he had gone to Cuba with only four completed their B-Tech’s.

I watched and listened with interest as he narrated the Cuba experience, how he was teaching himself portuguese and how spanish was closely related to the latter. He learned spanish as a prerequisite to study in Cuba.

I would then later ask “ so you speak Spanish?” his response “ speak, read and write”.

he went on to say how he wanted to complete his M-tech, how prepared he was about completing it. 

Oh, his motivation to learning portuguese was that his late father was originally from Mozambique, i would later reveal that i also am shangaaan, he smiled and said he is in general a lover of languages and would go on to sprinkle a bit of Venda, Tsonga and Xhosa in his narrations.

I asked if he would not be interested to come work with us in Gauteng with the promise of a good offer, he totally turned it down for the proximity he is enjoying with his family when at Moses Kotane hospital. his words “ i have been away for far too long and missed my family, i ben missed my late brother’s funeral i am not leaving them anytime soon”

An avid smoker he would now and then disappear for a smoke break, and then come back rejuvenated, i suspected that he smoked marijuana as well.

Hez was super smart, super humble, super human being, the two days i spent with him were memorable.

He then as an after thought would tell me how the cuban culture was closely similar to the coloured race in South Africa.

What troubled me was that i met him on Tuesday and would work with him again on Thursday, i found him in the same clothing, and i could smell marijuana on his clothes or something that smelled like that.

As we completed our assignment we would promise to keep contact and he promised me cuban music and said it was lekker!

I then said see you soon as i had some paper work outstanding, i got back to Gauteng and naturally got swallowed by my work and kept postponing going back. i raved to my colleagues and my wife back in Gauteng about a young man i had met and that he would be a valuable member to our organisation

Two weeks later i would receive a call from the hospital querying the outstanding paper work, i then said i had partly submitted to Hez, the lady who called took a very long sigh and said Hez has left, i though to myself he was way good to stay there, thought he was probably with a multinational company.

She then said we buried him last saturday, i could not believe it. she went on to say he hung himself.

His is a tribute to Hez, the guy i knew for two days who after two weeks departed.

You showed so much promise, i hope heaven has welcomed you warmly as you welcomed me into your hospital and life in an instance. I salute you fallen soldier!!!

Perfection

Tsebo, it was confirmed today by Dr Roodt that you are a girl, seeing you in your mother's womb was awesome.

With your brother it was not difficult for Dr Roodt to see the sex, with you it took forever, lol.

You crossed your legs and wasn't willing to show, for that I am proud of you, Daddy 'a little girl showed that she is classy, respectful and I love that.

Your mom is very elated at the prospects of having you, she was being from ear to ear.

I must tell you that I have separation anxiety issues, the thought of you getting married and leaving us for another family in the future haunts me.

I love you, I promise to love you forever, date you, hug and kiss you enough.

I can already see you and Mot, he is a year and 7months older than you.
He has no clue you are about to dethrone him as the only child.

Daddy will dress up for his princess' dates with the Doctor until you set foot in his palace.

You, you , you and you princess are my little Nono.
Mot will be thrilled to have you around, he too will kiss you enough.

I will teach you how to pray, I will pray with you, I will pray over you.

You the knowledgeable one, the blessed one, 

What a day!!

Seeing you again on the 23rd July 2014.
Mnxcwaaaa!!

Marrying my wife

 

Prior to meeting my wife I was just an easy going guy who went about his day with less care and planning.

I planned my weekends around mall prowling, church and watching sport on TV, more specifically soccer and cricket. Weekdays were planned around my job with little interaction with those who matter the most, family.

My less caring attitude extended into my finances and social life at some stage I didn’t even know how much I earned, I was just happy I could afford to pay for the things I needed.

Then one fateful Saturday while mall prowling I met a beautiful woman who after a year and a half I married. Six month of dating provided me with a preview of how life could be with Mantoa in my corner. I was gradually turning in to a man I wished I was, I started going to the gym to keep a healthy and fit body, got involved at church even made it into the youth leadership team, kept my finances intact, re-evaluated my friendships kept the ones I benefited from and the ones I contributed positively in, I also reconnected with family.

On the 29/04/2012 we walked down the aisle and became Mr and Mrs Rathelele, we braced ourselves for a good and long journey of life together. The task of being head of the family fell on my shoulders; I was now responsible for the direction of both our lives, the role required of me to be organized, consultative, have a vision, goals, execution strategies and monitoring methods in place.

Marrying my wife meant that I had to keep improving myself, my career for the benefit of both of us, it meant I had to learn to give tough love, receive it as well. It meant that I represented a collective at all time and could not afford to misrepresent them for personal gratification. It meant I opened myself to be corrected, advised and disciplined for the benefit of a collective.

Marrying my wife meant I was now part of her family and that I had added into our family, it meant I was now part of a new big family and that I had to be intentional with relationships to build this new family we are now part of. I have learned to be of influence even in unfamiliar territories.

Overall I have learned that we do not merely exist for ourselves that we exist for a much bigger purpose. I honestly believe that for the questions we have someone elsewhere has the answers, that life is relational and intentional.

We are now blessed with a son of our own and now i am benefiting from having good relations.

Mot the champ

I love my wife and adore my son.

I literally catch myself gazing at you with disbelief, I thinking I am dreaming.

My son is handsome, energetic, intelligent and easy.

I have in the past hallucinated about what I will do when you get here, I am so amped to be the coolest dad around, you are six months now, I insist on not using baby talk with you, I insist on communicating in Tsonga,Pedi and English.

You are six months yet display the attributes of one day becoming a great man, you have started noticing us ' mom and dad' , recognizing our voices too.

Depending on who you ask between me and your moms, you have started saying 'papa'.

Mom is in Limpopo to finalize her Msc degree, she left today(Thursday) and will be back on Sunday, it is just the two of us these four days, Tomorrow (Friday) I am taking you along to my office.

It's all love from me son

Randomly

Some days I am a genius and somedays I am a google dad.

Since the arrival of Motheo I find that I always challenge myself to think more, love more,care more and just to do more of everything

When Jesus left us to be with his beloved father and our dearest dad he said even greater things we will do, he meant greater things than he did.

 most of the time we are so insecure that we cannot even equate/liken ourselves with him, we just call ourselves Christians without the full understanding of what it means.

I wake up everyday and say even greater things we will do.

somedays I think maybe I am arrogant to think that way but that is the mental state Jesus wanted us to posses, to know that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We must believe that we are great,smart,difference makers and all things wonderful.

We must believe that we are blessed beyond curse

We must believe we are the answer to community's problems

For Every battle we fight we must remember we are fighting from a position of victory.

A day to go

Today it's the eve of your birth, I am upgrading to Dad, my wife upgrading to Mom, our moms to grannies, I love you.

I have nothing but love , respect and appreciation to my wife for carrying you the whole nine months.
I doubt I will sleep tonight, tomorrow(Friday and Saturday) I greatly doubt I will ever sleep the same ever again.

I can't comprehend the love that God has bestowed on me and your mom, we have over the years matured beyond our years and you will add to this maturity as well
I have in you a son and a mate.

A week to go

The count down began some time back, now I am counting hours,
Approximately 144 hours to go.

Your maternal grandmother was here on the 6/03/13 and left on the 7/03/13 just for final touch ups, she just wanted to see that all was in order before the big day, your paternal grandmother can't stop calling, she is excited and cautious.

Your maternal gran is a midwife so she knows the ins and outs, your mother calls us virgin parents, so we do need an overseer here and there.


I had a chat with your mother she reckons we are your fans first, then your parents,
we hope when you land this would have changed, we should be parents first.
It is the excitement and the joy that you bring to us that makes the lines blurry.

Your mom says its the last Friday of our lives without you,
She says no more table for two, we are three.

Your mom is concerned about losing her name because from now on she will be referred to as MmaMotheo, I am cool with it son, nothing is cooler than being referred to by the champion kid's name.

Hey I am thrilled and can't comprehend what God has done for me,
I am beyond words thrilled,
Now and then I catch myself smiling at the clouds,
Son we are going to have so much fun

Just received a all from uncle Odwa Shenxane,
your mom sent him a message saying there was two and now three, so he got confused,
you are only arriving next week the 15/03/13

I love you.

The vehicle

And son we work hard

Creating moments

We pose

Creating moments

The mom and dad to be.....

Exaggerated sense of self

" you haters can go and die"
" to all my haters take this"
"Keep doing it and silence your critics"
" those who thought I wouldn't make it where are you now"
" haters gonna keep hating I keep doing my thing"

The above quotations are heard on a daily basis from just about Jim and Jack.

Honestly you have haters??
For what??
What have you done??
Did you invent a telephone or was it Graham Bell??


Our generation with the help of social media has taken the hate phenomena too far,
Just about everyone is held back by haters, or has a legion of people wishing they fail in life,
It's just not correct nor true.

It will come to a point where one will twitpic a loaf bread and say," going to kill this bread and eat it, all my haters watch as I slice the bread"
Our generation is riddled with lazy people who want to be famous, when they do they realize you can be famous and poor, then assume someone is holding their pay cheque back because they are disliked or being hated.

Do we honestly think there is someone out there who is losing sleep because we bought a fake G- star or Takeshi jean? And they wish you could die or be attacked by dogs until your jean is not wearable?
Do we think someone out there is mad because you posed with an empty bottle of BlackLabel Blue and posted the photo on Facebook ?

The haters we have are in ourselves, we hold ourselves back by being concerned with what other people think of ourselves,
We hold ourselves back by doing nothing, being lazy to think or work but want the rewards of hard work, this is self hate.

How can one hate someone who has no bed but has a car? Do you think people don't want you to succeed?? Or you don't want to succeed??

I believe we all suffer from "multi personality order" I deliberately said "order" and social media gives platform for both personalities to live independently, don't be that guy who the Facebook/ twitter personality is more successful/happy than the real you, it is not appealing and very manipulative.
Rephrase : social media gives us the platform for these multi personalities to co-exist, contrastingly so, this creates a mismatch of these personalities originating from one individual, simply this means .........illusion/lies/ madness.

Haters gon talk?? About what?? What is there about you that can last a conversation of more than a minute?
Are you the inventor of grass?? Every grazing animal owes you some mention or money??
We have an exaggerated sense of self, an overly sense of worth.

Motheo ( (27 weeks))

So much has happened from the last time I wrote to you.
Our faith in God has been rigorously tested, we received bad reports, your life at some stage was in danger.
Your Mom (my wife) and me prayed and praised God your maker through out.

The support of your grand parents was awesome, our friends were there every step, our church was a pillar of strength.
We were in hospital for almost two weeks, I prayed even in my sleep, I said to God "you cannot lead me on for this long and abandon me half way" it wasn't like him, The psalmist says "God Is God and God God" he led the Israelites from captivity in Egypt to the promise land safely, he is not human, he doesn't renege on his word/promise, he had not changed his plans about you.

After you and your mom were discharged for hospital the role that Church played was humongous , they made it a point that she was fed for three weeks without her setting foot in her kitchen, they provided meals for us, for that I will for ever be grateful to Go Church, Pastor Paul Nyamuda, Brother Mike Manyuni and everyone at Church.

Auntie Lerato and Champ ( her Husband), Auntie Moriana ( Mmamorategi) ,Auntie Shibu ( Mma Ofentse) ,Uncle Machaba and his wife , Brother Mike and his wife all popped in to say a prayer and to see you and mommy , your granny ( comrade Winnie) was there every step, we shall forever be grateful to them for their support and their prayers.

Well I am writing to let you know of the favour that God has bestowed over your life son, I want you to know that you are an overcomer, that there is absolutely nothing you can't do.
I feel very honored that God trusted me and your Mom with your life, we shall out do ourselves at all times to raise you in his ways, we will draw from his word and rely on his wisdom.

I love you, the astronaut himself Motheo.

Missed meeting

Mr Motheo Nepo the astronaut himself, my dude apologies for missing our meeting scheduled 7nth November 2012 08h45 AM.

I had an emergency to attend to, I tried speaking to your mom about rescheduling she refused point blank!!
First signs of competition made clear, in her own words she said " tomorrow ke nna le ngwanaka fela".
Your mom is not comfortable driving in GP traffic but for you she was willing to do confront her fear, you are one lucky dude my dude!!

I am incredible your mom amazing and you are awesome, your mom kept me updated on my way to attend to the emergency I alluded to, she sent a photo and assured me she will have the meeting on DVD.

The Dr's report is that you are doing too great growing to be a big boy, all tests came back and you were given a clean bill of health, God has been good to us and we praise him forever.

We are at the midpoint of our pregnancy, it has been 20 beautiful weeks and we have 20 more beautiful weeks to go!!
I have officially started a countdown, I am thinking we start a family business say call it Mahlatse & Son? Nah!! Getting ahead of myself!!

Your mom has started writing and will post here soon, I love you, your mom loves you, we love you so much!!

We are scheduled for the last meeting of the year 2012 on the 7nth December 2012!!

It's a boy

The 9nth October 2012 was another scheduled meeting with my young man, Dr Roodt and my beautiful wife.

I have in the past weeks read a lot about where you are, how you should be and all.

I have been encouraging my wife, your mom to take her supplements, to ensure you get all the nutrients your little self needs.

We can feel you in mommy's tummy. Your movements are cute, you get mommy visiting the bathrooms quite often when you put pressure on her bladder, however when she kindly asks you to move you do, very cute, sometimes she calls me to come talk to you and like a good son you heed your old man's request.

My lilman I love you, so in the Doctor's room he dials your number and you play hide and seek and got me worried a little, he dials again and you pick up, damn!!

I look at your mom lying on the Bed and we both smile, you disappear and we laugh, like an astronaut you are untouchable bouncing up and down with joy at least I assume, when your fact finding mission is done we shall be inseparable.

Oh and the Dr says " do you want to know the sex?"and your mom beat me to a yes and he says graphically I can see the penis and the scrotum its a Boy!!!

I for a moment zoned out, thought I was dreaming, for the entire day like a kid with a lollipop in his hand I cared less about the world, I was so overjoyed!

We are scheduled for another call next month Mr Astronaut you!!!

From Mom and Dad, we love you so much!!

Second meeting

11 weeks it has been since you were craftily formed in your mother's womb.

The last time I saw you I could only see the heart beat and I was content, I left the doctor 's room a very excited man.

The 6th was way fun, the doctor found you in a very buoyant mood, like an astronaut you were floating, showing off your hands and legs.

We could also see your nose, your mother reckons it resembles hers, well your mother is beautiful her nose is a model one, if it was possible I would buy one that looks like hers.

Your heart beat measured at a good 161bpm and your height at 43,4 mm.

I have never prayed like I am praying now.
I love you, Mom does too, I will get her to write to you too.

I told your grandfather about your presence, he is excited and he sent a congratulatory text.

We are meeting again in 4 weeks time.
I am hoping you will be as joyous as yesterday.

First born

It's the second week since that great day I learnt about your coming.

The past weekend our friend Odwa organized us a surprise party to welcome us (newly weds) to Gauteng, it was great, we had fun, spoke and laughed a lot.

On the home front: I can't believe I get to watch your mom's tummy changing in shape and form, it excites me to know you are growing in there buddy.

I am still overwhelmed, excited and very grateful.
I am forever evaluating my life, auditing ,changing here and there positioning myself to be a great Dad.

I am applying myself differently at work, working smart as if you are watching.
I am gonna make you proud, I am already proud to know you are on your way.

Your mom, my wife: i can't wait for our fighting for her attention, oh! She calls me papi and you will too and I will call you papi.

So papi I will write again next Monday.
I am watching you!!

Men are meant to be leaders, manufactured to lead.

It is such a sorry site when you see a man lacking in purpose and vision.
He follows whoever seems to know where they are going.

On a more controversial note, have you seen the majority of born again Christian men?
It is a sorry site, pussy footing in all directions, like a brother was born with a blank brain and it's being filled as he goes.

I understand why there is a lack or dwindling numbers of men going to church, born again Christian men 's hand shakes?their hugs? I mean really was Jesus that feminine?

I feel for women married to some of the folks at church, like really!!
I mean a man who idolizes another man so much he wishes he was that man.

Ok!

My first born

When the news of your presence reached me on the 01/08/12 I found myself day dreaming about you.

I suddenly started thinking and doubting myself, asked myself if I was deserving of being a father, if I would make enough money to get you the best of everything, if I was wise enough to raise you in the ways of the Lord,

I have in the past wrote you letters, telling you how much I love you, you will have a chance to go through them someday, in case you only see this one, I love you, I love you and I love you.

The excitement is overwhelming me, I day dream, I smile at the slightest provocation.

Did I tell you I love you? Ok I love you, the greatest miracle that has ever happened to me, you are God's love in visual terms.

I am beaming from ear to ear, I am naming you Motheo or Thato .
You will play hockey professionally, be the greatest scientist ever maybe?

When we get to meet I will hug you!
When we get to meet I will kiss you!
When we get to meet I will pose with you!
When we get to meet I will say a prayer!
When we get to meet we will be joyous!
When we get to meet I will help you cry!

For now I wait for you,
For now I promise to be patient in my waiting
For now I am learning all I can about being a perfect dad.
For now I am praying for wisdom!

I spent last night praying in my sleep, with my hand on your Mom's tummy!

Your Mom is beautiful inside out, she is perfect, intelligent more than me!
You are in the perfect home I know.

I could write all day long, let me end here for now.
I love you, I love you, I love you!!

Tv in the early 90's.

Remember the time when all the kids on TV were speaking good English? some even twanging?
And all because they were adopted and raised by white families.
Some stayed with their biological moms emakitchini and went to the same school with umlungu's kids.

I would come back from school and sit in front of our black and white television set.
I watched with awe as kids my age waltzed their tongues over the Queen 's language with ease, at times I would imitate,
I would copy their clothing style, you have to imagine how difficult it would be to copy a clothing style of a 'coconut' being in the deep rural areas,
I would cut some of my clothes, sew up some to look the part.
I so much wanted to be adopted its not a joke.

When doing shopping in town with my grandfather i would be so nice to all the white women we saw or met,
Even if we never spoke I would just smile,
I think at that point I hated my mom for not working ko dikitchini.
I don't know if you get me, cause i would like you to, its not a joke,
I swear to you by my late handsome grandfather,

So i started preparing myself for adoption by reading my grandfather's Mail and Guardian, The Citizen and Sunday times.
I figured that if I spoke as well as my grandfather then I am as good as the kids on TV.
Its my story and I am selling it!!

Sometimes

When i am at odds with myself,
when my life fails to compute,
When i feel like selling this commodity called life,
When all i own and know does not make sense, i think of one man.
The  crazy man along the N1 walking purposely to nowhere,
The crazy man in my village,
The crazy man everywhere,

He talks to no one, amuses himself, seems happy to me.
His party instincts are never wrong.
Where there is a celebration of some sort he never misses his selfinvite,
And when he arrives he gets on with the programme of the day(being happy)  
He bothers no one but his body, his dancing is as genuine as that of a toddler,
He is boss, his opinion is the one that matters about him.
I have to be honest and say i envy the crazy man's life,
His obsession with happiness is what drives him daily,
He walks around the village looking for gatherings/celebrations of some sort to feed his happiness hunger.

His brain is very selective, it chooses happines thoughts, he chooses a life of an entertainer daily, his work lasts longer than most entertainers i know.
When i say i am crazy i literally mean i am in that state of happiness that is indespensable, that is negativity proofed.
The crazy man does not care what you think of his looks, dance styles,
He is so consumed with himself,
He enjoys his company hence you now and then catch him giggling to self,
He gossips with self, cracking now and then.
I sometimes really envy the crazy man'slife.