I have often heard that in football you don't have to speak the same language as your teammates and that football itself is a universal language. Think of our own export Siyabonga Nomvethe, he did'nt have a good command of the Queen's language yet he enjoyed a sucessful career there. Then the infamous coach Carlos Santana comes to mind,remember how he attempted coaching the World cup hosting national team (2010) with little or no trace of english. The man did not speak the same language as the players, both him and the players were supposed to use the Queen's language to communicate and both parties could not, utter catastrophe.
Football generally is a poor sport or bluntly put a sport for the poor, so it goes without saying that a universal language would exist in football. Through my early years i have come to understand that it is poverty that speaks a universal language. I have engaged my friends,my wife,my colleagues in all companies that i have worked for, although we come from different parts of the world, our backgrounds are the same and so are our stories.
You are probably reading and wondering really? Yes really,the story of your primary teacher antics is the same across all villages in South Africa, that is assuming you are from the villages. I am talking about the one where she knew your mother, and your mother's exboyfriend,your father, your granny,your family's total income and all, you dare misbehave in her class she will expose you. She would tell you of how dum your mom and dad were, how like your brother you will amount to nothing and if she saw a development in your yard she would ask who was footing the bill since your mother was known as a drunkard and your dad a meager farm worker, and this in full company of your classmates.
In my school one of our teachers took hygiene to the next level, as in the NEXT LEVEL. On Thursdays we were required to show the cleanliness of our underwear, the girls would be required to take their panties off and show the teacher the status of cleanliness( i never missed class on these days, even the girl i had a crush on would take hers off-don't laugh). If mistress deemed your panties dirty you would then put it on your head and display it to the whole class but for the guys it was easy, you lowered your pants and waited for the verdict, if dirty you got a lash, that simple.
Some of the teachers would send us to the shop during school hours to buy cigarettes and command us to recite "courtleigh, courtleigh,courtleigh" so we do'nt forget and buy the wrong brand. Boy did we sing,we would sing until we got to the shop, i still do'nt know why most teachers prefered courtleigh though, go figure. Some teachers went as far as asking learners to clean and cook for them in their pathetic one room "quarters", lol quarters. One of the teachers even impregnated a leaner who was in my class, did I mention it was my crush-shut up and don't judge.
The most exciting was lunch time aka break, we would all run home at the sound of the bell signaling break, see how we ran. We knew who was the quickest amongst ourselves and we revered him for his speedy self. Some learners would get home and find no food but would not be out done, they would put an exorbitent amount of vaseline and chicken spice on their lips to look like they ate well at lunch (I'm not making this up).
I know you are interested in knowing what else my primary teacher got up to, did I mention i was in standard 2?. Ok, on Fridays she would request that we take off our shirts, yes take off our shirts and she would investigate the cleanliness of our backs and smell our armpits ( i know, I know its disgusting). After smelling the "backseat" okes, she would turn to the whole class and yell "do you know roll-ons", lol deoderants- really mam?!
The last stroke came when we were in standard four, in our biology class, the reproduction chapter to be exact (shaking my head). We were being taught about puberty and she requested that we measure our manhood ( or pipis as she called them) using rulers, write the size on a piece of paper and submit to her. Some could only use the milimeters side of the ruler, I said some, excluding me and Thabo my best friend (i am not trying to be nasty its the truth). Now that i think of it,our teacher was single and stayed in the "quarters", makes one think,sis, what a pervet! Or maybe NOT-all in a days job!SIGH!!!!!!
